Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tradisi di Desa Jleper


08 Oktober 2011
Warga Jleper Lakukan Tradisi Lempar Nasi

 RATUSAN
   warga  Desa Jleper Kecamatan Mijen Demak  menggelar tradisi unik yang mungkin satu-satunya di Kabupaten Demak. 
Tradisi itu berupa acara  sedekah bumi yang disertai rangkaian ritual wayangan, acara melempar nasi ’’berkat’’, doa bersama di makam Kasepuhan Cendana Sari, hingga  saling mengguyur minuman dawet yang terbuat dari cendol.   

Warga pun  berduyun-duyun untuk bisa menyaksikan acara yang sudah berlangsung turun temurun tersebut.
’’Acara ini rutin diselenggarakan setiap tahun. Kami memahami tradisi ini sebagai  warisan dari  leluhur yang harus dilestarikan dari generasi ke generasi,’’ tutur Kades Jleper Abdul Fakih kemarin. 

Tak tanggung-tanggung agar rangkaian acara berjalan semenarik mungkin pihaknya bahkan mengundang dalang asal Kudus Ki Sarbini  untuk mementaskan wayang kulit.  
Wayang yang mengambil cerita turunnya wahyu dari kayangan para dewata itu  menjadi pamuncak acara di  malam hari. Sebelumnya di sore hari sudah digelar acara pembuka yakni acara melempar nasi ’’berkat’’, doa bersama di makam hingga  saling mengguyur minuman dawet terbuat dari cendol.   

’’Acara ini sekaligus bertujuan untuk meminta agar hujan turun. Sebab,  boleh dirasakan sendiri kemarau panjang terjadi dan belum tahu kapan akan turun hujan,’’ tambah kades. 
Acara saling melempar nasi berlangsung penuh canda tawa.  Warga yang ditugasi menjadi  ’’aktor’’ dalam ritual ini dibagi dalam dua kelompok. Masing-masing berjumlah 15 orang sembari membawa nasi dalam wakul. 

Nasi yang disediakan itu merupakan  sumbangan dari warga yang memang ikhlas memberi untuk ritual ’’perang nasi’’. Dua kelompok warga kemudian saling berhadapan dan saling melempar nasi. Suasana berubah gelak canda ketika nasi dihamburkan mengenai wajah, tangan atau bagian tubuh para pemain. 

Penyubur Tanaman

Ada kalanya kelompok yang sedang berseteru itu nakal melempar ke penonton dan wartawan yang meliput jalannya acara. Salah seorang reporter televisi bahkan hanya mampu tersenyum saat nasi berlepotan mengenai kacamatanya. 

Kades Abdul Fakih, menambahkan, nasi tak dibuang percuma. Setelah selesai acara dikumpulkan untuk kemudian dipakai menjadi penyubur tanaman dan sawah dengan cara disebar di lahan penduduk.  Acara masih dilanjutkan dengan saling guyur minuman dawet usai berdoa bersama di makam Cendana Sari.  Di makam itu konon disemayamkan banyak kerabat Ratu Kalinyamat dari Jepara yang juga masih Keturunan Raja Demak Bintoro Sultan Fatah. Sasaran penyiraman dawet yakni modin Desa Jleper yang bernama Muklis.  Modin desa itu pun basah kuyup.  

’’Saya ikhlas tersiram air dawet dalam tradisi ini. Mudah-mudahan acara melestarikan budaya leluhur ini bermanfaat bagi warga kami,’’ ujar Muklis kemarin. 
Anggota DPRD Demak H Rozikan Anwar yang juga tokoh masyarakat setempat mendukung acara sedekah bumi menjadi agenda wisata di Demak. Acara tersebut meski sederhana namun menarik bagi umum dan memiliki nilai jual. ( Hari Santoso -14). (/)

Desa Jleper Mijen Demak

Desa Jleper adalah sebuah desa yang terapit oleh kali serang dan kali wulan. Di sanalah saya dilahirkan. Disanalah saya belajar ngaji, belajar berenang, memancing, angon kebo dan belajar ngangsu banyu.
Desa Jleper itu berjarak 3 km dari kecamatan Mijen yang berseberangan dengan desa welahan.


Mijen berasal dari kata Miji yaitu istilah dari petugas yang hanya seorang untuk menghimpun keadaan-keadaan masyarakat setempat maupun pendatang dari luar negeri maupun luar daerah. Petugas di negara yang hanya seorang itu,diangkat pada zaman mataram hindu yang berpusat di Yogyakarta, hubungannya dengan muria dengan Raja Kalingga.
Jadi Mijen itu tempatnya di antara kerajaan Kalingga dan Mataram Hindu.Petugas Ijen yang diangkat dari mataram yang disebut sekarang dengan Intel,yang merupakan polisi yang pekerjaannya menyelidiki kejadian-kejadian yang melanggar negara.

Apa sebabnya diMijen diberi petugas Intel atau Ijen, soalnya Mijen itu dekat dengan bandara besar,bandaranya sekarang yang menjadi desa Bandaran. Dari bandara itu,orang-orang dari luar negeri ada dari India,Kamboja,Tiongkok (Cina).Kebanyakan orang-orang menetap sampai sekarang disekitar Bandaran adalah orang-orang Cina.Cina datang ke Bandaran dengan membawa alat-alat kebudayaan yang ada hubungannya dengan agama yaitu agama Kon Fut Syu (Kong Hucu).

Sampai sekarang alat-alat itu masih ada disimpan didalam kelenteng (tempat ibadah umat kong hucu) kelenteng diwelahan itu,termasuk kelenteng yang tertua di pulau jawa.


Para Saudagar itu bersal dari berbagai negara, terutama dari China dan dari Arab atau Yaman. Itulah sebabnya sekarang ini keturunan dari para saudagar itu bercampur dengan penduduk asli. Makanya tidak heran di desa Jleper dan sekitarnya ada 3 jenis warna kulit dari penbduduknya. Ada yang putih, sebagai keturuna dari gen China , ada sawo matang, sebagai keturunan dari gen Jawa asli dan ada yang menyerupai keturunan arab.

   Desa Mijen ada 3 pendukuhan yaitu:
1.Mijen kerajaan (tempat raja).
2.Dukuh Gedangan. Dukuh Gedangan berasal dari kata Gedang yang tumbuh karena terbawa oleh arus sungai serang.Gedangan terpecah menjadi 2:ikut Mijen,dan Welahan.Bandaran ikut kelurahan Pecuk.
3.Dukuh Bengkal.

Pada zaman Demak Bintoro para pembntu pemerintahan dan penyiar agama disebut Wali.Para wali yang jumlahnya ada 10.Tiap jumatan berkumpul di masjid Agung Demak yang pada waktu itu dipegang oleh Sultan Fattah.

Termasuk Sunan Kudus kalau jumatan berangkat dari kudus ke Demak dengan naik perahu (nambangi)tukang tambang pada waktu itu bernama mbah norman, kalau nambangi lingkupnya luas dari kudus ke demak, dari bandaran ke dempet wilayah demak yang dilewati mbah norman masih berwujud rawa-rawa. 


Suatu ketika setelah jumatan kanjeng sunan kudus belum juga sampai beberapa hari,istrinya yang bernama mlati norowito menjemput sunan kudus ke Demak dengan naik perahunya mbah Norman juga. karena mbah norman kasihan kepada istri wali maka naik turun dari perahu digendong. masih diberi uang untuk kebutuhan dalam perjalanan . mendengar cerita dari melati norowito sunan kudus malah menjadi cemburu mbah norman dibunuh mayatnya terapung- apung sampai didesa bengkal. mayat mbah norman diketahui oleh orang dari kedung waru yang sedang mencari kerbaunya dirawa rawa sebanyak satu amet (40 kerbau).orang dari kedung waru namanya Tompel dan sogle, kemudian nadar apabila nanti kerbaunya sudah ditemukan ,mayat mbah norman akan diruwat (dikubur)setelah kerbaunya ketemu mbah norman dikubur di pemakaman yang sampai sekang masih ada yaitu pemakaman dukuh bengkal. makam mbah norman terkenal dengan kyai nambangan. 


mbah norman asli dari Jleper (Dongkol lurah) harta benda mbah Norman ditanam di dalam desa bengkal dengan diberi tanda batang bambu kuning sekarang sudah dirombak karena disitu didirikan masjid. 
Orang-orang yang melewati bambu kuning (pring gading)terutama orang-orang luar begkal menjadi bingung kata orang-orang dulu namanya kesandung oyot mimang. didesa bengkal ada rawa kecil yang namanya mintorogo, menurut cerita wayang mintorogo ada tempatnya bertapa begawan mintorogo. orang-orang yang menempati tanah mintorogo/ yang mempersoalkan tanah mintorogo untuk dimiliki biasanya membawa korban.
( dari berbagai sumber )

Hoegeng


Hoegeng Imam Santoso merupakan putra sulung dari pasangan Soekario Kario Hatmodjo dan Oemi Kalsoem. Beliau lahir pada 14 Oktober 1921 di Kota Pekalongan. Meskipun berasal dari keluarga Priyayi (ayahnya merupakan pegawai atau amtenaar Pemerintah Hindia Belanda), namun perilaku Hoegeng kecil sama sekali tidak menunjukkan kesombongan, bahkan ia banyak bergaul dengan anak-anak dari lingkungan biasa. Hoegeng sama sekali tidak pernah mempermasalahkan ningrat atau tidaknya seseorang dalam bergaul. Masa kecil Hoegeng diwarnai dengan kehidupan yang sederhana karena ayah Hoegeng tidak memiliki rumah dan tanah pribadi, karena itu ia seringkali berpindah-pindah rumah kontrakan.

Hoegeng kecil juga dididik dalam keluarga yang menekankan kedisiplinan dalam segala hal. Hoegeng mengenyam pendidikan dasarnya pada usia enam tahun pada tahun 1927 di Hollandsch Inlandsche School (HIS). Tamat dari HIS pada tahun 1934, ia memasuki Meer Uitgebreid Lager Onderwijs (MULO), yaitu pendidikan menengah setingkat SMP di Pekalongan. Pada tahun 1937 setelah lulus MULO, ia melanjutkan pendidikan ke Algemeene Middlebare School (AMS) pendidikan setingkat SMA di Yogyakarta. Pada saat bersekolah di AMS, bakatnya dalam bidang bahasa sangatlah menonjol. Ia juga dikenal sebagai pribadi yang suka bicara dan bergaul dengan siapa saja tanpa sungkan-sungkan dengan tidak mempedulikan ras atau bangsa apa.

Kemudian pada tahun 1940, saat usianya menginjak 19 tahun, ia memilih melanjutkan kuliahnya di Recht Hoge School (RHS) di Batavia. Tahun 1950, Hoegeng mengikuti Kursus Orientasi di Provost Marshal General School pada Military Police School Port Gordon, George, Amerika Serikat. Dari situ, dia menjabat Kepala DPKN Kantor Polisi Jawa Timur di Surabaya (1952). Lalu menjadi Kepala Bagian Reserse Kriminil Kantor Polisi Sumatera Utara (1956) di Medan. Tahun 1959, mengikuti pendidikan Pendidikan Brimob dan menjadi seorang Staf Direktorat II Mabes Kepolisian Negara (1960), Kepala Jawatan Imigrasi (1960), Menteri luran Negara (1965), dan menjadi Menteri Sekretaris Kabinet Inti tahun 1966. Setelah Hoegeng pindah ke markas Kepolisian Negara kariernya terus menanjak. Di situ, dia menjabat Deputi Operasi Pangak (1966), dan Deputi Men/Pangak Urusan Operasi juga masih dalam 1966. Terakhir, pada 5 Mei 1968, Hoegeng diangkat menjadi Kepala Kepolisian Negara (tahun 1969, namanya kemudian berubah menjadi Kapolri), menggantikan Soetjipto Joedodihardjo.

Biografi Hoegeng
Banyak hal terjadi selama kepemimpinan Kapolri Hoegeng Iman Santoso. Pertama, Hoegeng melakukan pembenahan beberapa bidang yang menyangkut Struktur Organisasi di tingkat Mabes Polri. Hasilnya, struktur yang baru lebih terkesan lebih dinamis dan komunikatif. Kedua, adalah soal perubahan nama pimpinan polisi dan markas besarnya. Berdasarkan Keppres No.52 Tahun 1969, sebutan Panglima Angkatan Kepolisian RI (Pangak) diubah menjadi Kepala Kepolisian RI (Kapolri). Dengan begitu, nama Markas Besar Angkatan Kepolisian pun berubah menjadi Markas Besar Kepolisian (Mabak).

Perubahan itu membawa sejumlah konsekuensi untuk beberapa instansi yang berada di Kapolri. Misalnya, sebutan Panglima Daerah Kepolisian (Pangdak) menjadi Kepala Daerah Kepolisian RI atau Kadapol. Demikian pula sebutan Seskoak menjadi Seskopol. Di bawah kepemimpinan Hoegeng peran serta Polri dalam peta organisasi Polisi Internasional, International Criminal Police Organization (ICPO), semakin aktif. Hal itu ditandai dengan dibukanya Sekretariat National Central Bureau (NCB) Interpol di Jakarta.

Selama ia menjabat sebagai kapolri ada dua kasus menggemparkan masyarakat. Pertama kasus Sum Kuning, yaitu pemerkosaan terhadap penjual telur, Sumarijem, yg diduga pelakunya anak-anak petinggi teras di Yogyakarta. Ironisnya, korban perkosaan malah dipenjara oleh polisi dengan tuduhan memberi keterangan palsu. Lalu merembet dianggap terlibat kegiatan ilegal PKI. Nuansa rekayasa semakin terang ketika persidangan digelar tertutup. Wartawan yg menulis kasus Sum harus berurusan dengan Dandim 096. Hoegeng bertindak. Kita tidak gentar menghadapi orangorang gede siapa pun. Kita hanya takut kepada Tuhan Yang Mahaesa. Jadi, walaupun keluarga sendiri, kalau salah tetap kita tindak. Geraklah the sooner the better, tegas Hoegeng di halaman 95.

Kasus lainnya yg menghebohkan adalah penyelundupan mobil-mobil mewah bernilai miliaran rupiah oleh Robby Tjah jadi. Berkat jaminan, pengusaha ini hanya beberapa jam mendekam di tahanan Komdak. Sungguh berkua sanya si penjamin sampai Ke jaksaan Jakarta Raya pun memetieskan kasus ini. Siapakah si penjamin itu? Tapi, Hoegeng tak gentar. Di kasus penyelundupan mobil mewah berikutnya, Robby tak berkutik. Pejabat yg terbukti menerima sogokan ditahan. Rumor yg santer, gara-gara membongkar kasus ini pula yg menyebabkan Hoegeng di pensiunkan, 2 Oktober 1971 dari jabatan kapolri. Kasus ini ternyata melibatkan sejumlah pejabat dan perwira tinggi ABRI (hlm 118). Bayangan banyak orang,
memasuki masa pensiun orang pertama di kepolisian pasti menyenangkan. Tinggal menikmati rumah mewah berikut isinya, kendaraan siap pakai. Semua itu diperoleh dari sogokan para pengusaha.

Biografi Hoegeng
Kasus inilah yang kemudian santer diduga sebagai penyebab pencopotan Hoegeng oleh Soeharto. Hoegeng dipensiunkan oleh Presiden Soeharto pada usia 49 tahun, di saat ia sedang melakukan pembersihan di jajaran kepolisian. Kabar pencopotan itu diterima Hoegeng secara mendadak. Kemudian Hoegeng ditawarkan Soeharto untuk menjadi duta besar di sebuah Negara di Eropa, namun ia menolak. Alasannya karena ia seorang polisi dan bukan politisi.

“Begitu dipensiunkan, Bapak kemudian mengabarkan pada ibunya. Dan ibunya hanya berpesan, selesaikan tugas dengan kejujuran. Karena kita masih bisa makan nasi dengan garam,” ujar Roelani. “Dan kata-kata itulah yang menguatkan saya,” tambahnya.

Hoegeng diberhentikan dari jabatannya sebagai Kapolri pada 2 Oktober 1971, dan ia kemudian digantikan oleh Komisaris Jenderal Polisi Drs. Moh. Hasan. Pemberhentian Hoegeng dari jabatannya ini menyisakan sejumlah tanda tanya di antaranya karena masa jabatannya sebagai Kapolri saat itu belum habis. Berbagai spekulasi muncul berkaitan dengan pemberhentiannya tersebut, antara lain dikarenakan figurnya terlalu populer dikalangan pers dan masyarakat. Selain itu ada pula yang menyebutkan bahwa ia diganti karena kebijaksanaannya tentang penggunaan helm yang dinilai sangat kontroversi.

Ternyata masa menyenangkan itu tidak berlaku bagi Hoegeng yg anti disogok. Pria yg pernah dinobatkan sebagai The Man of the Year 1970 ini pensiun tanpa memiliki rumah, kendaraan, maupun barang mewah. Rumah dinas menjadi milik Hoegeng atas pemberian dari Kepolisian. Beberapa kapolda patungan membeli mobil Kingswood, yg kemudian menjadi satu-satunya mobil yg ia miliki.Pengabdian yg penuh dari Pak Hoegeng tentu membawa konsekuensi bagi hidupnya sehari-hari. Pernah dituturkannya sekali waktu, setelah berhenti dari Kepala Polri dan pensiunnya masih diproses, suatu waktu dia tidak tahu apa yg masih dapat dimakan oleh keluarga karena di rumah sudah kehabisan beras.

Hoegeng memang seorang yang sederhana, ia mengajarkan pada istri dan anak-anaknya arti disiplin dan kejujuran. Semua keluarga dilarang untuk menggunakan berbagai fasilitas sebagai anak seorang Kapolri.

“Bahkan anak-anak tak berani untuk meminta sebuah sepeda pun,” kata Merry.

Aditya, salah seorang putra Hoegeng bercerita, ketika sebuah perusahaan motor merek Lambretta mengirimkan dua buah motor, sang ayah segera meminta ajudannya untuk mengembalikan barang pemberian itu. “Padahal saya yang waktu itu masih muda sangat menginginkannya,” kenang Didit.

Saking jujurnya, Hoegeng baru memiliki rumah saat memasuki masa pensiun. Atas kebaikan Kapolri penggantinya, rumah dinas di kawasan Menteng Jakarta pusat pun menjadi milik keluarga Hoegeng. Tentu saja, mereka mengisi rumah itu, setelah seluruh perabot inventaris kantor ia kembalikan semuanya.

Memasuki masa pensiun Hoegeng menghabiskan waktu dengan menekuni hobinya sejak remaja, yakni bermain musik Hawaiian dan melukis. Lukisan itu lah yang kemudian menjadi sumber Hoegeng untuk membiayai keluarga. Karena harus anda ketahui, pensiunan Hoegeng hingga tahun 2001 hanya sebesar Rp.10.000 saja, itu pun hanya diterima sebesar Rp.7500! Dalam acara Kick Andy, Aditya menunjukkan sebuah SK tentang perubahan gaji ayahnya pada tahun 2001, yang menyatakan perubahan gaji pensiunan seorang Jendral Hoegeng dari Rp. 10.000 menjadi Rp.1.170.000. Pada 14 Juli 2004, Hoegeng meninggal dunia di Rumah Sakit Cipto Mangunkusumo, Jakarta dalam usia yang ke 83 tahun. Ia meninggal karena penyakit stroke dan jantung yang dideritanya. Hoegeng mengisi waktu luang dengan hobi melukisnya.

Biografi Hoegeng
Itulah sekadar beberapa catatan kenangan untuk Pak Hoegeng yg baru saja meninggalkan kita. Seorang yg hidupnya senantiasa jujur, seorang yg menjadi simbol bagi hidup jujur, dan simbol bagi kejujuran yg hidup.

Tak heran, Almarhum Gus Dur pernah berkata,

"Di Indonesia ini hanya ada tiga polisi jujur, yakni polisi tidur, patung polisi, dan Hoegeng."

Thursday, June 7, 2012

O God, Grand me a Frend




http://www.flickr.com/photos/kennethhawes/3756120101/in/photostream/ by : Reehab Ramadhan

Let’s take a trip to a time long ago and extract wisdom from a wise man we all look up to and admire. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) told us his story, not as a bed-time comfort, but as a means for us to extract life-long lessons. Let’s not overlook his story; let’s dive in and live the parts of his story that we can, admire and learn from the parts that we can’t.
At that blessed time long ago, Allah subhanahu wa ta’la (exalted is He) spoke to this amazing creation, Musa `alayhi sallatu wa sallam (may God send His peace and blessings on him). Imagine. Allah (swt) spoke to Musa (as) Himself. Allah!
In this blessed conversation, Allah (swt) shows Musa what can happen when one has Allah (swt) on his side. He teaches him a valuable lesson about the power of Allah (swt) above creation. He takes a simple stick and produces an unimaginable miracle, then takes a simple hand and again produces an unimaginable miracle (see Surah Taha, Qur’an 20). He shows Musa that with Allah (swt) on his side, even when one thinks they have nothing, He can make them have everything.
After Allah (swt) shows him a glimpse of his Lord’s unimaginable power, Allah (swt) then gives him a heavy task. A task that many would shy away from, especially if they thought they would be in it alone. Musa on the other hand knew that he had Allah (swt) by His side, and that the results and effects would be from Allah (swt) alone.
Allah (swt) says:


“Go to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed.”

[Moses] said, “My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance]

 
And ease for me my task

 
And untie the knot from my tongue

 
That they may understand my speech.”


Musa doesn’t abandon the task that his Lord has given him, rather he asks for His assistance, first and foremost. Then Musa does something profound, that we often times overlook:
Allah (swt) tells us that Musa says:

 
“And appoint for me a minister from my family—

 
Aaron, my brother.

 
Increase through him my strength

 
And let him share my task

 
That we may exalt You much

 
And remember You much.

 
Indeed, You are of us ever Seeing.”

 
[Allah] said, “You have been granted your request, O Moses.” (Qur’an, 20:24-36)

What does Musa do? He asks for a companion and then he tells us exactly what a true friend is. Often times we try to ride the waves of life alone, or we depend too much on our friends. But just like everything else in this religion, the middle ground is the smoothest for sailing. While asking His Lord for a companion, Musa laid out a rubric for us to live by when choosing our close companions.
Let’s take a look at the qualities that Musa (as) has recommended for a close companion:
“Increase, through him, my strength”
The first thing that we should look for in a friend is that they should make us stronger human beings. They should be someone that we trust will help us when we are at our low points and that we won’t feel self-conscious with when seeking help. But the key here to notice is that when we are strengthened by our friends, we should keep in mind that it is not really our friend that has made us strong, rather Allah (swt) has strengthened us through our friend.
“And let him share my task”
Next, Musa (as) asks that he be granted a companion so that he can “share in his task.” Often times we try to go through life alone and we try to do everything on our own. In another extreme, we may try to get our friends to take our own life decisions and lay our tasks fully on their shoulders. Through this description, we get the true essence of what we should do. Our friends should be people that are capable and willing to share in our tasks. They should be people we can trust to bounce ideas off of and to help us along the way. We shouldn’t try to wander through life and carry the entire burden ourselves, nor should we lay our tasks fully on other’s shoulders—the moderate path is the key.
“That we may exalt You much and remember you much. Indeed, You are of us ever Seeing.”
Musa (as) ends this rubric with the most important point—the purpose of companionship and friendship. He asks Allah (swt) to grant Him his brother as his companion so that they would exalt Him and remember Him. In essence, he is asking that his companion bring Him closer to God, encourages him to remember God, and that in this companionship they never forget that Allah (swt) is watching them. This is the most essential part of any friendship. The friendship should bring us closer to God, never farther. The companionship should encourage us to do more good for the sake of Allah (swt), never distract us from it. And throughout these friendships, in good and bad moments, we should never forget that Allah (swt) is always watching us and can see our every move.
May Allah bless us all with friends who surround us, who strengthen us (by the will of God), who share in our burden, and who remind us of God. Ameen.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Shaking Hand With non Mahram


The Question:
Is it proven in the Glorious Qur’an or the Sunnah that shaking hands with women is totally prohibited within the social and family relations when there is trust and no fear of temptation?
The Answer:
There is no doubt that shaking hands between males and females who are not mahrams (illegal for marriage) has become an intricate issue. Reaching an Islamic verdict on this issue away from extremism and dispensation needs a psychological, intellectual, and scientific effort so that the Mufti gets rid of the pressure of all imported and inherited customs unless they are based on the textual proofs of the Qur’an or the Sunnah.
Before tackling the issue in point, I would like to exclude two points on which I know there is agreement among the Muslim jurists of the righteous predecessors.
Firstly, it is prohibited to shake hands with a woman if there is fear of provoking sexual desire or enjoyment on the part of either one of them or if there is fear of temptation. This is based on the general rule that blocking the means to evil is obligatory, especially if its signs are clear. This ruling is ascertained in the light of what has been mentioned by Muslim jurists that a man touching one of his mahrams or having khalwah (privacy) with her moves to the prohibited, although it is originally permissible, if there is fear of fitnah (temptation) or provocation of desire.
Secondly, there is a dispensation in shaking hands with old women concerning whom there is no fear of desire. The same applies to the young girl concerning whom there is no fear of desire or temptation. The same ruling applies if the person is an old man concerning whom there is no fear of desire. This is based on what has been narrated on the authority of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) that he used to shake hands with old women. Also, it is reported that `Abdullah ibn Az-Zubair hired an old woman to nurse him when he was sick, and she used to wink at him and pick lice from his head. This is also based on what has been mentioned in the Glorious Qur’an in respect of the old barren women, as they are given dispensation with regard to their outer garments. Almighty Allah says in this regard: “As for women past child bearing, who have no hope of marriage, it is no sin for them if they discard their (outer) clothing in such a way as not to show adornment. But to refrain is better for them. Allah is Hearer, Knower.” (An-Nur: 60)
Allah explains that there is no sin on the old barren women if they decide to remove their outer garments from their faces and such, so long as they do not do it in a manner in which they would be exposing their beauty wrongly.
Here the object of discussion deals with other than these two cases. There is no surprise that shaking hands with women isharam (unlawful) according to the viewpoint of those who hold that covering all of the woman’s body, including her face and the two hands, is obligatory. This is because if it becomes obligatory to cover the two hands, then it would become haram for the opposite sex to look at them. And, if looking at them is unlawful, then touching them would become haram with greater reason because touching is graver than looking, as it provokes desire more.
But it is known that the proponents of this view are the minority, while the majority of Muslim jurists, including the Companions, the Successors and those who followed them, are of the opinion that the face and the hands are excluded from the prohibition. They based their opinion on Almighty Allah’s saying, “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent …” (An-Nur: 31) So where is the evidence on prohibiting handshaking unless there is desire?
In fact, I searched for a persuasive and textual proof supporting the prohibition but I did not find it. As a matter of fact, the most powerful evidence here is blocking the means to temptation, and this is no doubt acceptable when the desire is roused or there is fear of temptation because its signs exist. But when there is no fear of temptation or desire, what is the reason for prohibition?
Some scholars based their ruling on the action of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) on the day of the Conquest of Makkah. When he wanted to take the pledge of women he said to them, “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.” But it is known that the Prophet’s leaving a matter does not necessarily indicate its prohibition, as he may leave it because it is haram (forbidden), makruh (reprehensible), or because it is not preferable. He may also leave it just because he is not inclined to it. An example of this last is the Prophet’s refraining from eating the meat of the lizard although it is permissible. Then, the Prophet’s refraining from shaking hands with women (other than his wives) is not evidence of the prohibition, and there should be other evidence to support the opinion of those who make shaking hands absolutely prohibited.
However, it is not agreed upon that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) refrained from shaking hands with women to take their oath of allegiance. Umm `Atiyyah Al-Ansariyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported another narrative that indicates that the Prophet shook hands with women to take their oath of allegiance. This is unlike the narration of the Mother of the Believers `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who denied this and swore that it had not happened.
It is narrated that `A’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), said, “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allah, ‘O Prophet! If believing women come unto thee, taking oath of allegiance unto thee that they will ascribe nothing as partner unto Allah, and will neither steal nor commit adultery nor kill their children, nor produce any lie that they have devised between their hands and feet, nor disobey thee in what is right, then accept their allegiance and ask Allah to forgive them. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.’ (Al-Mumtahanah: 12)” `A’ishah said, “Whoever among the believing women agreed to that passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to them, ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And `A’ishah said, “By Allah, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
In his explanation of the saying of `A’ishah, “No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman …” Al-Hafizh Ibn Hajar said: she swore to ascertain the news as if she (`A’ishah) wanted to refute the narration of Umm `Atiyyah. It is narrated on the authority of Ibn Hibban, Al-Bazzar, Al-Tabari, and Ibn Mardawih that Umm `Atiyyah said in respect of the story of taking the oath of allegiance of women, “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) held out his hand from outside the house and we (the immigrating women) held our hands from within the house, then he said, ‘O Allah, bear witness.’” In another narration reported by Al-Bukhari, Umm `Atiyyah said, “… thereupon a lady withdrew her hand (refrained from taking the oath of allegiance)…” This narration indicates that they (the immigrating women) took their oath of allegiance by shaking hands. Al-Hafizh said: we reply to the first saying that holding out hands from behind a veil is an indication of the acceptance of the allegiance even if there was no shaking of hands. As for the second narration, withdrawing hands indicates the postponement of accepting the pledge of allegiance or that taking the pledge of allegiance happened from behind a veil. This is supported by that narration of Abu Dawud on the authority of Al-Sha`bi that when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to take the pledge of allegiance of the immigrating women he brought a garment and put it over his hands saying, “I do not shake hands with women.” Furthermore, in his book Maghazi, Ibn Is-haq is reported to have said that when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to take the pledge of allegiance of the immigrating women, he would dip his hands in a vessel and a woman would dip her hands with him in the same vessel.
Al-Hafizh Ibn Hajar said: it is possible that taking the pledge of allegiance happened on more than one occasion. Sometimes, it happened without touching hands by any means, as narrated by `A’ishah. Another time it happened that the women’s oath of allegiance was accepted by shaking their hands with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), as narrated by Al-Sha`bi. A third time it happened that they dipped their hands in the vessel as mentioned by Ibn Is-haq.
The most correct view seems to be that it occurred on more than one occasion, if we realize that `A’ishah talked about taking the pledge of allegiance from the immigrating women after the Truce of Al-Hudaibiyah, while Umm `Atiyyah talked about what seems to be the oath of allegiance of the believing women in general.
By transmitting these narrations, I mean to clarify that the evidence of those who are of the opinion that shaking hands with women is prohibited is not agreed upon, as is thought by those who do not resort to the original sources. Rather, there is some controversy concerning this evidence.
Furthermore, some contemporary Muslim scholars have based their ruling concerning the prohibition of shaking hands with women on the Hadith narrated by Al-Tabari and Al-Baihaqi on the authority of Ma`qil ibn Yassar that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “It would be better for one of you to have himself stabbed on the head with an iron needle than to touch a woman that is illegal for him.”
Here, the following should be noted: 
1. The scholars and Imams of Hadith have not declared the authenticity of this Hadith. Some of them say that its narrators are trustworthy, but this is not enough to prove the authenticity of the Hadith because there is a probability that there is an interruption in the chain of narrators or there was a hidden cause behind this Hadith. That is why Muslim jurists in the periods that followed the death of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) have not based their ruling on the prohibition of shaking hands with women on this Hadith.
2. Some Hanafi and Maliki jurists stated that the prohibition is not proven unless there is a certain qat`i (definitive) piece of evidence such as textual proofs from the Glorious Qur’an or authentic Hadiths on which there is no suspicion regarding the chains of narrators.
3. If we suppose that the above-mentioned Hadith is authentic, it is unclear to me that the Hadith indicates that it is prohibited for males and females who are not mahrams to shake hands. That is because the phrase “touch a woman that is illegal for him” does not refer to the mere touching without desire as happens in normal handshaking. But the Arabic word“al-mass” (touching) as used in the Shar`i texts of the Qur’an and the Sunnah refers to one of two things:
1. Sexual intercourse, as reported by Ibn `Abbas in his commentary to Almighty Allah’s saying, ‘… or ye have touched women …’. He stated that “touching” in the Qur’an refers figuratively to sexual intercourse. This is clear in the following Qur’anic verses that read: “She (Mary) said: ‘My Lord! How can I have a child when no mortal hath touched me?’” (Al `Imran: 47) and “If ye divorce them before ye have touched them …” (Al-Baqarah: 237)
2. Actions that precede sexual intercourse such as foreplay, kissing, hugging, caressing, and the like. This is reported from our righteous predecessors in the interpretation of the word “mulamasah”.
Al-Hakim stated in his Al-Mustadrak `Ala as-Sahihain: Al-Bukhari and Muslim have narrated many Hadiths that show that the meaning of the word “lams” (touching) refers to actions that precede sexual intercourse. Among them are:
a) The Hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “…The hands fornicate. Their fornication is the touch …”
b) The Hadith narrated by Ibn `Abbas that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “You might caress her.”
c) The Hadith narrated by Muslim that Ibn Mas`ud is reported to have said that a person came to Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and told him that he had kissed a woman or touched her with his hand or did something like this. He inquired of him about its expiation. It was (on this occasion) that Allah, Glorified and Exalted be He, revealed this Qur’anic verse that reads “Establish worship at the two ends of the day and in some watches of the night. Lo! good deeds annul ill deeds …” (Hud: 114)
d) `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) is reported to have said, “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) used to visit us (his wives) and it was his habit to kiss and caress us and do actions other than sexual intercourse until he reached the one whose turn was due and he stayed there.”
e) `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud is reported to have said in his commentary to Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …” that it refers to actions that precede sexual intercourse for which ablution is obligatory.
f) `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) is reported to have said, “Kissing is to be considered among the touching acts, so perform ablution if you do.” (Al-Mustadrak, vol. 1, p. 135)
Hence, the opinion of Imam Malik and the substantial meaning of the legal verdict issued by Imam Ahmad in this respect are that the touching of a woman that nullifies ablution is that which is accompanied by desire. And this is the way they interpreted Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …”
That is why Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah regarded as weak the opinion of those who interpreted “mulamasah” or (touching) in the Qur’anic verse to mean mere touching without desire. In this regard, he says, “As for the nullification of ablution with mere touching, it does agree with the original rulings of the Shari`ah, the unanimous agreement of the Companions and the traceable traditions reported in this respect. Moreover, those who held this opinion have not based their ruling on a textual proof or an analogical deduction.”
So, if “touching” in Almighty Allah’s saying “… or ye have touched women, …” refers to touching with hands, kissing or the like, as said by Ibn `Umar and others, then it is known that when “touching” is mentioned in the Qur’an or the Sunnah it refers to that which is accompanied by desire. We would like to cite here the following verse that reads, “… and touch them not, while ye are in retreat in the mosques …” Here, it is not prohibited for the one who retreats to the mosque for devotion and worship to touch his wife without desire, but touching that is accompanied by desire is prohibited.
Also, this includes the Qur’anic verses that read “O ye who believe! If ye wed believing women and divorce them before ye have touched them, then there is no period that ye should reckon …” (Al-Ahzab: 49) “It is no sin for you if ye divorce women while yet ye have not touched them …” (Al-Baqarah: 236) For if he (the husband) touches his wife without desire, then the waiting period is not required and he is not required to pay her the whole dowry, according to the agreement of all Muslim scholars.
So, whoever assumes that Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …” includes general touching without desire has exceeded far beyond the language of the Qur’an and that of people. For if “touching” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is known that it refers to touching with desire. Similarly, if “sexual intercourse” in which a man and a woman are included is mentioned, it is well known that it refers to actual sexual intercourse and nothing else. (See the collection of Fatawa Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, vol. 21, pp. 223-224)
In another context, Ibn Taimiyah stated: The Companions had debate regarding Almighty Allah’s saying, “… or ye have touched women, …”. Ibn `Abbas, supported by a group, held the opinion that touching here refers to sexual intercourse and added: Allah is modest and generous. He euphemizes with what He wills in respect of what He wills. Ibn Taimiyah added: This opinion is believed to be the most correct.
The Arabs disagreed regarding the meaning of touching: does it refer to sexual intercourse or actions that precede it? The first group said that it refers to sexual intercourse, while the second said that it refers to actions that precede it. They sought the arbitration of Ibn `Abbas, who supported the opinion of the first group and regarded that of the second as incorrect.
By transmitting all these sayings, I mean to show that when the word “al-mass” or “al-lams” (touching) is used to mean what a man does to a woman, it does not refer to mere touching but rather refers to either sexual intercourse or actions that precede it such as kissing, hugging, and any touching of the like that is accompanied by desire and enjoyment.
However, if we investigate the sahih (sound) Hadiths that are narrated from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), we will conclude that the mere touching of hands between a man and a woman without desire or fear of temptation is not prohibited. Rather, it was done by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), whose actions are originally a source of legislation. Almighty Allah says: “Verily in the Messenger of Allah ye have a good example …” (Al-Ahzab: 21). It is narrated on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said, “Any of the female slaves of Madinah could take hold of the hand of Allah’s Messenger and take him wherever she wished.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
The above mentioned Hadith is a great sign of the modesty of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
Furthermore, it is reported in the two Sahihs that Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to visit Umm Hiram bint Milhan, who would offer him meals. Umm Hiram was the wife of `Ubadah ibn As-Samit. Allah’s Messenger once visited her and she provided him with food and started looking for lice in his head. Then Allah’s Messenger slept putting his head in her lap, and afterwards woke up smiling. Umm Hiram asked, ‘What causes you to smile, O Allah’s Messenger?’ He said, ‘Some of my followers who (in a dream) were presented before me as fighters in Allah’s Cause (on board a ship) amidst this sea cause me to smile; they were as kings on thrones …’”
Al-Hafizh Ibn Hajar has mentioned lessons that are deduced from this Hadith: The guest is permitted to nap in a house other than his own on condition that he is given permission and there is no fear of fitnah. According to this Hadith a woman is also permitted to serve the guest by offering him a meal, drink or the like. Furthermore, a woman is permitted to look for lice in his head, but this last was an object of controversy. Ibn `Abd Al-Barr said, “I think that Umm Hiram or her sister Umm Sulaim had breast-fed the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). So, each one of them had become his foster mother or his foster aunt. That was why he (the Prophet) used to sleep in her house and she used to deal with him as one of hermahrams.” Then he (Ibn `Abd Al-Barr) mentioned what indicates that Umm Hiram was one of the Prophet’s mahrams, as she was one of his relatives from his maternal aunts, since the mother of `Abd Al-Muttalib, his grandfather, was from Banu An-Najjar.
Others said that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was infallible and could control his sexual desires even from his wives, so what about other women who were illegal for him while he was granted infallibility from doing any wrong action or obscenity? This was one of his distinctive traits.
Al-Qadi `Iyad replied that the distinctive traits of the Prophet are not proven by personal interpretations of Hadiths. As for his infallibility, it is indisputable, but the original ruling is that it is permissible to take the Prophet’s actions as a model unless there is evidence that this action is one his distinctive traits.
Furthermore, Al-Hafizh Al-Dumyati said: It is wrong to claim that Umm Hiram was one of the maternal aunts of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) either by reason of marriage or fosterage. Those who breast-fed the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) are well known. None of them was from the Ansar except the mother of `Abd Al-Muttalib. She was Salma bint `Amr ibn Zaid ibn Lubaid ibn Khirash ibn `Amir ibn Ghunm ibn `Adyy ibn An-Najjar. While Umm Hiram is the daughter of Milhan ibn Khalid ibn Zaid ibn Judub ibn `Amir ibn Ghunm ibn `Adyy ibn An-Najjar. Umm Hiram has a common ancestor with Salma only in their grandfather `Amir ibn Ghunm. So, they are not among his mahrams because it is a metaphorical relationship. Al-Hafizh Al-Dumyati added: If this is proven, it is reported in the Sahih books of Hadith that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used not to enter any house in Madinah except the house of Umm Sulaim besides those of his wives. When he was asked why, he said, “I take pity on her, as her brother (Hiram ibn Milhan) was killed in my company.”
If this Hadith has excluded Umm Sulaim, then Umm Hiram is granted the same exclusion as her because they are sisters and resided in the same house; each one of them had her own apartment beside their brother Hiram ibn Milhan. So, the case is mutual between them, as reported by Al-Hafizh ibn Hajar.
Moreover, Umm Sulaim is the mother of Anas ibn Malik, the servant of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and it was the habit of people that the master mixed with his servant and his family and did not deal with them as outsiders.
Then, Al-Dumyati said: There is no indication in the Hadith showing that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had khulwa (privacy) with Umm Hiram, as this might have happened in the presence of a son, a servant, or a husband.
Ibn Hajar replied: This is a strong likelihood, but it does not refute the original argument represented in looking for lice in the head and sleeping in her lap.
Ibn Hajar added: The best reply is that it is one of the distinctive traits of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) (See Fath Al-Bari, vol. 13, pp. 230-231).
What I conclude from the aforementioned narrations is that the mere touching is not haram. So, if there exists reasons for mixing as that between the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and Umm Hiram and Umm Sulaim and there is no fear of fitnah, then there is nothing wrong with shaking hands when there is a need for it, such as when returning from travel, the non-mahram male relative visiting his female relative, and vice versa, especially if this meeting happens after a long period.
Finally, I would like to ascertain two points:
Firstly, shaking hands between males and females who are not mahrams is only permissible when there is no desire or fear of fitnah. But if there is fear of fitnah, desire, or enjoyment, then handshaking is no doubt haram (unlawful). In contrast, if either of these two conditions (that there is no desire or fear of fitnah) is lacking between a male and any of his femalemahrams, such as his aunt or foster sister or the like, then handshaking will be haram (although it is originally permissible).
Secondly, handshaking between males and females who are not mahrams should be restricted to necessary situations such as between relatives or those whose relationships are established by marriage. It is preferable not to expand the field of permissibility in order to block the means to evil and to be far away from doubt and to take the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as a model when there is no proof that he shook hands with a non-mahram woman. Also, it is preferable for the pious Muslim, male or female, not to stretch out his/her hand to shake the hand of anyone of the opposite sex who is not mahram. But if he/she is put in a situation that someone stretches out his/her hand to shake hands with him/her, then he/she can do that.
I have tried to clarify the detailed ruling of the issue here in order to inform those who are in the dark about it how to behave while sticking to the tenets of their religion. Also, when the detailed Islamic ruling is explained and people are fully aware of it, there will be no room for personal justifications that are not supported by legal backing.